When grandparents take responsibility

www.raisingyourgrandchildren.com by Karen Best Wright

My personality is one where I tend to feel responsible for most everyone around me, especially if they are closely connected to me. I can feel their energy and if I'm not very careful, I can absorb their energy even to the detriment of my own health.

I have to be constantly aware that I have a tendency to do this. The other day, a doctor told me something that I already knew, but it helped to have him look me straight in the eye and say, "A person cannot take responsibility for something he has no control over." In other words, he was telling me to quit feeling responsible and trying to be responsible for things I could not control. It was becoming very detrimental to my physical and mental health. That is one reason we have custody of our grandchildren, so that control matches with our responsibility.

As I have contemplated over this concept, responsibility and control, the past few days, I have been taking notes of the things that I actually do have some control over and how I can enhance or improve a situation. I have also had to come to grips with things that are out of my control, like other people's choices and actions. Sometimes there is a fine line between the two or at least so it seems.

As I was driving home from my doctor's appointment still feeling much heaviness in my heart and not knowing exactly how to handle a certain situation, I decided to quit thinking about it at that time. Well, that of course is easier said than done. "Don't think about a white horse."

So what I did for the hour drive home, I focused on everything around me that was positive. I noticed beautiful red, pink, purple, yellow, orange, and white blossoms. I noticed the many different shades of spring green in the trees. I saw yellow and red tulips and beautifully manicured lawns (they were probably kept up by hired help) but they were beautiful.

I saw an old man out mowing his lawn and thought how great it was that he was still able to mow his lawn. I saw a cell tower and thought about how baffled and amazed I am at how cell  phones work. I was thankful for drive-up bank tellers. I didn't have to even get out of my car to deposit a check.

I kept my mind searching for every positive thing I could find for over an hour until I could get home and do something that I actually did have some control over, thus calming my troubled heart; even cleaning my kitchen and disinfecting the kitchen island, where the children eat, gave me a wee sense of control, at least it looked nice.