By Karen Best Wright, www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com
Recently I received an email from a grandmother with a very nice story. Most of the emails I get are from grandmothers who are new to the raising grandchildren scene and are understandably frustrated and in need of help. This story was a bit different, so I am passing it along.
My husband and I are 57 and 56 respectively. We are raising our now 16 and 13 year old grandsons. It seems I'm an "oldie" on this website as we've had the boys since birth, so I'm pretty much a 16 year veteran. Our daughter was very young when she gave birth, 15 and again at 18. She lived with us for several years and we tried parenting the kids together. That never worked. They stayed confused. Then we tried very briefly putting them with her when she had her own apartment. That lasted all of 2 weeks. They were "homesick". Of course they were. They'd always lived with us. Then our whole family just stopped trying to fit into some type of mold that we couldn't fit in and we decided that it was best for Papa and Mimi to raise the boys but for Mom to be very much in the picture. It has worked splendidly for all of us. The boys know where "home" is, but they also know and highly respect their mother. So, there are no bad feelings. It also created a healthy environment for our daughter to get her life together with no "guilt" attached and now at 31 she is very happy with herself and her many accomplishments, and so are we. My advice to anyone would be to do what is best for all of you and don't let people dictate to you what you should do. Every situation is different.
Like Mimi said, "Every situation is different." So if your story is not so pleasant, just realize you have plenty of company. Thanks Mimi for passing your story along.
A grandmother in love with her grandchildren